the-confidence-grow-blog

When Innovation Breeds Contempt For Innovation

Fri, 18 May 2012 13:34:17 +0100

THE CONFIDENCE GROW BLOG

I'm sure you’ve heard it said that we are living in a time of unprecedented innovation. You don't have to be very old to have seen the enormous changes in our world in just the last couple of decades or so. Innovation has completely changed the world we live in, the businesses we operate and work in, and even the way we relate and connect with each other. Most of us have embraced or at least accepted these changes (to varying degrees) and live with an expectation of more innovation to come. We expect it now. From everywhere. And we expect it often. Whether you agree with the fast-paced changes in our world or not, most people do believe that innovation is part of our modern culture - good or bad. And there is so much good.

According to my resource, Wikipedia, this is a current definition of what innovation is:
Innovation is the creation of better or more effective products, processes, services, technologies, or ideas that are accepted by markets, governments, and society. Innovation differs from invention in that innovation refers to the use of a new idea or method, whereas invention refers more directly to the creation of the idea or method itself.

New ideas and methods are responsible for the exciting, effective, interesting, better, and new ways of doing things, making things, selling things, helping things, etc, that we all embrace today! Indeed, innovation, whether it was slow or fast-paced, has been the force of change and evolution for human kind since we began on this planet (think fire, wheels, motors, etc). I for one do NOT want to stifle or discourage innovation. I love so many of the truly innovative ideas and methods that have been created in recent years. However, there are many indicators that something is happening to our fastpaced innovative society, that threatens the nature and essence of innovation.

First, there is fear! Fear of failure! For many people, and maybe even a growing segment of society, it is no small feat to get over this one. Fear/fear of failure can be debilitating for many people. This kind of failure can make people second-guess their innovative ideas or make them think that they don't need to innovate anymore. I believe that fear can be experienced most commonly at two different places in a venture. First, the early happening of it is at the beginning. The bigger the dreams and hopes that are tied to a new venture, the more likely you will have to battle the Fear-monster! So many what-ifs, and what-abouts jumping around that you can easily become overwhelmed. And fearful. This is not good, fertile ground for innovation to thrive.

The next place when you can really see fear in a venture, is when you're on top of your game. You've at the level where you’ve achieved some success, and things are going great! For many, this becomes a trap that scares you away from innovation. You start to be afraid of taking chances, changing things up, or creating something new in case you mess it up and fail. Jonathan Fields talks about this in his book, "Uncertainty". He talks about how a creative person and/or entrepreneur can change their viewpoint and willingness to innovate from where it was when they were creating the opportunity to having it become about loss aversion, fear and scarcity once they attain a level of success that they are now invested in NOT losing.

Second, there is a lack of confidence (which seems the same as fear of failure, and it is in some respects, but hear me out)! This one isn't so much a fear of failure, where you have a bunch of innovative ideas but are worried that if you go implement them, they may fail. With a lack of confidence, it's more likely that you are paralyzed so that the ideas don't even come to you. You are so overwhelmed with the amazing innovations all around you that you think it's all been done or that you are not nearly clever enough or experienced enough to come up with something new and valuable. You lack confidence to even join in the innovation game.

Innovation moves so fast today. Sometimes it's so complicated; other times so transparent with internet/social media/open source/collaboration;often overwhelms newbie’s and seasoned professionals alike; and usually can change your life and business dramatically in either direction, depending on whether you’ve succeeded or failed.

So in a sense, innovation now breeds contempt for innovation. And that is the worst place you can ever be. We must always be willing to innovate and not be afraid to risk, to take chances, to try new things. Yes, you may fail, if you innovate, but if you don’t innovate, you’ll fail on a much grander scheme of things.

“I cannot help fearing that men may reach a point where they look on every new theory as a danger, every innovation as a toilsome trouble, every social advance as a first step toward revolution, and that they may absolutely refuse to move at all.”

Alexis de Tocqueville

Life is amazing...live it well!
Debra

The Restorative Powers of Sand

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 21:13:09 +0100

The restorative powers of sand. My title was meant to be a bit intriguing, but it's probably a bit weird. Am I going off on a tangent? Well, yes, I suppose, but I think it's a worthwhile one. I've been taking some time off a bit this week, to spend with my 17 year old daughter, who is on March Break. We live in Ontario, Canada and it's nearing the end of winter. We have recently had some great weather and we are more than ready for it! Yesterday, the skies were clear blue, the sun was shining bright, and the temperature soared over 17C! It was pretty fantastic. So my daughter and I went in search of fun in the sun...and we found it!

Not one hour from our house, we found (thanks to Google) a beach on Lake Huron...a beach! I couldn't believe it! We've lived in this area for three years and had no idea (craaaazy) that there was a beach one hour from our house. So we found it yesterday afternoon and I can't tell you how much fun we had...doing almost nothing!

We walked for miles and miles (well probably not more than 1 or 2 but it seemed to go on forever). Actually we didn't just walk, we ran, we skipped, we may have even pranced. My daughter collected shells (yes, shells! remember we have been in cold Canada all winter and didn't know we had a beach one hour from our house...so we were excited by everything!). We dipped our toes (yes, our BAREFOOT toes) in the water (and yes, it was very cold). We soaked up wonderful rays of sunshine and vitamin D, and breathed deeply the from light, warm breeze in the air.

Then we (here's the part where my title comes from:) sat on the sand, the beautiful, soft, white sand, and literally played in the sand...that's right we played in the sand! Not castle building or anything too focused like that. We were just caressing the warm, soft, white sand. Letting it run though our fingers, over and over again and burying our feet, so we could wiggle our toes out and start over again. There was something restorative about it. I felt like I was at a spa, only better. More natural. I had the sun, the breeze, and the sand all making me feel happier, more relaxed, more at peace. Restored. You may argue it wasn't the sand or, at least, not entirely the sand, which may be true, but it was in the sand where I let everything go. The stress, the distractions of work, etc. It was playing in the sand with my daughter, where everything was right in the world, or my world anyway, for that little bit of time. It made me feel that we should have sand playing available everywhere. They have them in daycares and kindergarten classes...these little boxes, tables really, with sides on them, full of sand. We can use those, maybe build them taller. There should be a sand box in every office, in every business, in every high school, in public places all over. When people get stressed or if they are living in cold climates or if they feel the need to connect with nature, they can take a few minutes to play in the sand and let it run through their fingers. It can help them 'escape' their current circumstances just for a few minutes to provide stress-relief and an opportunity to connect with nature.

Eventually, we had to leave the sand behind, after a few hours of bliss, but we left feeling very happy, buoyed, connected, and restored. What's strange is that I feel that I try to take time on a regular basis to de-stress, relax, connect, yet it was still a very good reminder for me to make sure that I find ways to play in the sand and do things that will bring that kind of feeling on a regular basis. It's too easy to get caught up in the stress, the striving, the work, the doing. We are a society that revels in 'the doing' and 'the striving'. I think it's SO important for all of us to find ways to play in the sand. Don't wait.

"Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite. Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. Everyone is just waiting." ~Dr. Seuss

Life is amazing...live it well!
Debra

Sabotage by Rabbit Tricks

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 04:08:36 +0100

THE CONFIDENCE GROW BLOG:

If you're an entrepreneur, you have most likely worried about what kinds of things can possibly sabotage the success of your business. You will have looked around at all the known factors that can come out of the woodwork to trip you up, but you may have missed a very important one....self-sabotage! Yes, the culprit may be YOU!

So many of us do it to ourselves. We allow ourselves to become overwhelmed and sidetracked with activities and tasks that are keeping us too busy and too distracted. How can you focus? You probably have too many emails and social media messages to catch up on, marketing pieces to write, clients and prospects to meet, projects to put together, phone calls to manage, idea sessions to schedule, pricing to confirm, materials to source, not to mention any other Administrative/Human Resources/Accounting type of activities that you put upon yourself? Add to that, the big time-crunchers, YouTube links to watch, Blogs to read, and iTunes to download. Sound familiar?

Now you may be so blind to your own self-sabotage that you don't even understand the problem with that list. You're thinking to yourself...."Yeah, sure I multi-task. Of course. Every entrepreneur has to do that." Yes, there is some truth to that. Especially in the early stages, it can be quite useful (and more cost effective) to be able to perform many of the tasks required, for yourself. However, at any stage, you must make yourself aware of the real COSTS to that. You simply can't do 'everything' and do it well. You can't dilute your time and focus and attention with your key tasks and still expect to excel at them as you would if you were giving them their proper due.

Consider this quote: (I mean really consider it)

"Old George Orwell got it backward. Big Brother isn't watching. He's singing and dancing. He's pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother's holding your attention every moment you're awake. He's making sure you're always distracted. He's making sure you're fully absorbed...and this being fed, it's worse than being watched. With the world always filling you, no one has to worry about what's in your mind. With everyone's imagination atrophied, no one will ever be a threat to the world." -Chuck Palahniuk (American freelance Journalist, and Novelist)

What are your thoughts about that quote? Do you feel it too? Do you ever have the sense that we are living some kind of experiment? One where the results will show how we became addicted to distractions and lost our ability to focus on important tasks long enough to find solutions, or make discoveries, or think new ideas? Do you find yourself (be honest) 'wasting' time on certain items (such as social media, email, youtube, etc) as a distraction from what you would call your 'real work' and priorities, because the distractions are so much easier (and often 'mindless')?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you shouldn't use all the wonderful, amazing technological tools at your disposal...not at all. I'm saying, that YOU (and me and every entrepreneur) MUST - absolutely MUST - learn to master and control the when/how/where and why we use them!!

Don't let technology be the shiny object in your life, anymore, that distracts you from your awesomeness and the big dreams you want to fulfill! Use it as the amazing tool and resource that it is and build the business you have always dreamed about.

Life is amazing, live it well.
Debra

Make Something Great Out of Nothing

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 14:05:15 +0100

THE CONFIDENCE GROW BLOG

I am such a huge believer in HUMAN POTENTIAL! People are such amazing, fantastic, incredible beings with the potential to do awesome things. Yes, I mean YOU! I absolutely do! YOU have the potential to live your dreams! You have the ability to create something that will give purpose to your life and value to others! You have it in you to make something great out of nothing, with little more than your passion, your drive, your creativity, and your determination!

The key is to BELIEVE and have CONFIDENCE in yourself! If you don't believe and have confidence in your potential and ability, then you will find yourself battling and succumbing to self-doubt and fear all the time. Focus on what is true about you...what are your strengths, what do you love, what do people love about you, what makes you light up and glow? When you focus on these things, you will find it easier to believe in yourself and feel confidence in what you want to do and be!

Surround yourself with positive reinforcement throughout each day. Begin every day with time to pray/meditate/affirm the goals and desires and plans you have. Choose people in your life who will challenge you to pursue your dreams and who will support you and offer you valuable feedback. Take action, every day!. It can be small steps or big steps, but make sure you are moving towards the goals! Focus on your purpose in life..."Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined!" Henry David Thoreau

Life is amazing...live it well!
Debra

Love Your Life

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 03:15:26 +0100

THE CONFIDENCE GROW BLOG:

Today is the day of "love". Personally, I've never been one for making a big deal out of the day, preferring to choose my own days and ways for displays of love and affection. However, it's difficult to really make a stand against a day for celebrating love. So go ahead and make sure the people in your life know that you love them!

Rather than a day of chocolates and flowers (not that there is anything wrong with those things), what I would like to make of this day, is this:
Spend the day LOVING your LIFE! Anyone who truly loves their life, is going to be someone who loves the people in their life as well. Your life is a precious gift. Most of us wait far too long, and sometimes too late, to understand how precious and how short life really is. That's why my wish for Valentine's Day is that we ALL learn to love our life, which means we honour our gifts, our talents, our dreams. We are gentle and kind to ourselves. We challenge ourselves and strive for our best life possible! And that we extend that to everyone in our lives, as well!

So go ahead and love today- love yourself, love family and friends, love mankind. But don't forget to love your life!
Life is amazing, live it well!
Debra

Did You Succeed or Fail in 2012?

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:39:02 +0100

THE CONFIDENCE GROW BLOG:

Did you succeed or fail in 2012?
You must be thinking "Is that a typo? Did she mean 2011?" No, I actually do mean 2012. We are now into February 2012 and all indicators about your success for the whole year are already in play! How you started this year and the momentum you've carried through to February will say a great deal about how the year will continue and end. Studies show that many people have already stopped (given up) pursuing their goals with their new habits by this time of year.

So how is your 2012 going? Have you started well and maintained your passion and enthusiasm? Are you still committed to your moving forward activities? Have you been consistently bringing your best self to your business, with purpose, intention, and dogged persistence? You need to make sure you're giving yourself the tools and resources to make it happen.

I believe that the most powerful thing you can do for your business is NOT let your FEARS destroy your Confidence, your Credibility, and your Clarity! By focusing on these three areas, you will find that you eliminate Fear in a powerful way. Fear is the enemy of success, so don't let it get a firm grip on you.

Confidence, Credibility, and Clarity:
To grow your Confidence you need to go deep into introspection and find your WHY....the core reasons why do you do, what you do...and use that as your inspiration and motivation every day. You need to know what your WHY is (and I mean really, really know) so your Fear won't have the ability to destroy your Confidence. Once you know it and understand it, you need to write it down and then post it (I want you to put it somewhere you can see it everyday. Yes, you'll probably remember your WHY's until it comes time for them to be challenged, and that's when it will be harder to remember, so write it and Post It!).

To build your Credibility, you need to know what your talents and strengths are (really, really know) to attract your Tribe (the people who relate to you and can hear your voice). Build on what you love and what you're good at, and focus on the Credibility you have in your area. Take all the years of experience and talent you have and use it to grow your Confidence. When you have a tribe who follows you and relies on you, you build Credibility, don't let your Fears destroy that. You have a gift and your tribe is waiting for you to bring it fully to the world.

To find your Clarity, you need to know (really, really know) how to communicate your message, your value, and your solutions. You need to communicate how you help your tribe and why that matters (to you and to them). Your Fears will try to tell you that you don't have any value and will try to make you feel confused about your message. When you focus on your strengths and bring your genuine passion to your business, your message will be powerful. You need to coummunicate that message as often as you can,

Today and every day, we get to choose if we will succeed or fail. Whether 2012 is 'your year' or not, will be determined by the choices you make today! Success is never easy (don't let anyone tell you otherwise), but it's worth it! It means you have chosen a path and steps, every day, that lead away from mediocrity and towards excellence!

"Everyone chooses one of two roads in life - one is the broad, well-traveled road to mediocrity, the other road to greatness and meaning.
The difference between these two destinations is as night is to day."
Stephen R. Covey, The 8th Habit

Life is amazing, live it well!
Debra

The Gift of....Failure!

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 06:24:34 +0100

THE CONFIDENCE GROW BLOG:

THE GIFT OF...FAILURE? SERIOUSLY?
Yes, I am actually. It may sound corny, or you may think I'm making some play on words to get your attention (maybe just a little bit) but the statement is true - it IS a GIFT to experience failure! And the sooner you understand that in life, the better success you will have.

You see, most of what causes us FEAR, especially as entrepreneurs, is the FEAR of FAILURE! This fear can be paralyzing and/or devastating! It can get into your head (and your heart) in such a way that determines how or, even, IF you will follow your passion and go after your dreams. It can determine if an entrepreneur takes the necessary risks to build their business. It can determine the success path of your entire life! MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT...

FEAR OF FAILURE WILL DESTROY YOU...if you let it!

SAFE AND PROTECTED:
Have you ever been told not to get your hopes up or dream too big, because you'll only be disappointed? Have you had friends/parents/teachers in your life who have tried to 'protect' you from being unrealistic, so you wouldn't be crushed by disappointment or failure? Have you continued that pattern in your life...perhaps built nice little walls that keep you 'safe'?

The idea, however well-intentioned, that we somehow 'save ourselves' when we live small, protected from hopes and dreams, is wrong!! WRONG, I say! I believe you do more damage to yourself living that way, than if you took the chance and had to face disappointment and failure.

HOW TO FIGHT FEAR:
The first thing to do is determine your attitude towards failure. With the right attitude, you can turn disappointment and failure into powerful teaching tools and stepping stones. With the right attitude you can actually 'embrace' ALL (well, okay, MOST) of the opportunities in your life, knowing that there is value no matter whether you succeed or fail. CHOOSING your attitude, every day, is crucial!

The next thing to do is face your fears about failure. Really look at it and begin to dissect it. Where do you think it started? What has kept it alive and well? WHAT ARE YOU TRULY AFRAID OF? List the things you believe about failure and what they would mean to you....list them all. Everything. And then, one by one, write how you can overcome, deal with, thrive, learn from, or benefit from the experience. You'll need to stretch and persist, but you will find a lot of power in writing this out and choosing to win over your fear!

It IS a GIFT to experience failure - and survive!

Once you have the life experience of FAILURE, you can then face your FEAR and WIN! You can move on, knowing that if you face more failure, it doesn't have to destroy you...you can learn from it and apply that learning to your future success. MANY of the biggest success stories we know are from people who FAILED in spectacular fashion (publicly, financially, morally, personally, even sometimes criminally) and who used their opportunity to LEARN and GROW and MOVE ON to have huge success!! Just a few examples: Oprah, Winston Churchill, Elvis Presley, Sigmund Freud, Milton S. Hershey, J.K. Rowling, Frank O'Dea, etc., etc., etc... The list of failure-to-success stories is pretty impressive! Maybe we should teach people that they WANT to fail if it means finding the kind of success that many of these people have.

The key focus is: DON'T LET FEAR OF FAILURE DESTROY YOU....or paralyze you....or take you on a lesser path than you are meant to go! Following your passion and silencing your fear is one of the most powerful, life changing gifts you can give yourself!

Life is amazing....live it well!
Debra

Missed Intentions...Keep Soaring

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 01:33:38 +0100

THE CONFIDENCE GROW BLOG
Well, here we are at the mid-month point of January. Two weeks into 2012 and two weeks into my inspired and powerful list of INTENTIONS for 2012. So how am I doing?

Well, I missed one of my intentions already. Ugh!

One of my intentions is to create a Blog/Vlog/eNewsletter at least once a week (2-3 per week when so inpired). My first blog of the new year was January 4th. This one you're reading now is already a few days late. How did that happen?? Sure, a busy schedule and committment to many things (also including family) were involved (there are the excuses...) but that is the pattern that happened last year. That is NOT what I wanted for this year. Those excuses and patterns helped create a schedule of only writing blogs sporadically, sometimes less than once a month. Am I slipping back into 'those' patterns again? Is that familiar feeling of internal groaning and deep, unhappy sighing going to be my lot again this year?

NO! NO WAY!

Sure, I'm disappointed with myself. (Is anyone else feeling this with me?...Have you missed on any of your intentions yet?) But I have a choice to make right now...I can beat myself up (continue longer than I already have) and I can sink into a sense of failure and defeat, allowing myself to believe that the intention I set is now broken. I can also allow myself to then decide 'what's the point' or go into a 'this is my pattern' type of thinking OR I can say "NO WAY" and get right back on track, start writing my weekly (or more) blogs and completely move past the sense of defeat or failure. I can also look at what contributed to my missing that intention and determine what needs to change to support my intention. In this case, it was a case of not scheduling my blog writing (I prefer to allow a 'flexibility' in my blog writing to allow for creative inspiration to hit, but there is a lot to be said for implementing some discipline too).

I have made some very BIG intentions for my Change is Inevitable, Growth is Intentional year ahead. THIS is my year, more than any other before. That kind of inspiration, determination, and vision requires a huge amount of dedication and perseverance to see me through. I will NOT be defeated with some missteps here and there, or obstacles in my way, or challenges that stretch me, or fears that assail me! I will NOT! And it is my deepest wish for you that you will not either!!

If you need any encouragement, guidance, or a successful program to assist on your journey, please let me know.
Life is amazing...live it well!
Debra

Change is inevitable, GROWTH IS INTENTIONAL!

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 18:00:54 +0100

I don't like the word resolution, and I think many people have a negative response to it as well (sort of how some people feel about broccoli or brussel sprouts - that it may be good for you but they hate it and won't do it). So instead I would like for you to think about setting INTENTIONS instead of resolutions. You may not think that there is a big difference, but stay with me for a few minutes and let's see if we can get clarity! As a matter of fact, I want this to lead you directly to CLARITY, CONFIDENCE, and ACTION for 2012. If you have those three things - I believe your 2012 is going to be an extraordinary year!

CHANGE AND GROWTH
Your year will most definitely include changes, but it's not likely that they will be the gateway to your 'accomplishments' - they will simply be changes (some good, some not so much). And 'changes' are inevitable! You can't avoid them. Change has a way of making its way into our lives, even if uninvited (especially if uninvited), but it does NOT have the reputation of making an extraordinary year on its own. 'Growth', however, is very polite. Growth is intentional and requires that you invite/choose/decide/determine to have it in your life! Have you? Have you made it your intention to make 2012 a year of extraordinary growth?

CLARITY:
Before you begin, we need to create the right environment (and an extraordinary 2012 deserves a great environment). So find the time to be alone (even if you prefer that people are around, as in a coffee pub or something), in a comfortable and creative environment, and with your choice of background (whether it's quiet, music, other people, etc).

Also, you need to have something to record in...I prefer paper and pen, in the form of a creative and inspiring journal, but you can choose your method. Some people really do better with a keyboard or electronic format. So choose whatever works for you!

Now we're going to get to CLARITY. If WE DO NOT HAVE CLARITY, how can we expect anyone around us to support us, understand us, or do business with us? Getting clarity is a requirement before you blog, set up a website, or start creating a brand. You need to know your message and your service, before you can expect anyone else to know. Sometimes it's difficult to do this on your own. Use the rest of this article to guide you, and help you look at where you've been and where you want to go.
First, you need to review 2012 thoroughly in your mind! Write these items in the following five areas: what was great, good, neutral, not so good, and possibly destructive? This won't take as long as you think...the memories and thoughts will begin to flow and you'll know what to write. Be as honest and deep as you can here.

Once your five areas are compiled, you need to be actively grateful for ALL of it. You lived and learned through all of it, even the painful stuff. It's part of a live lived well and lived fully! If we want to live in safe little cocoons, where we don't have hurts or make mistakes, we can't live an extraordinary life.

“How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” -Trina Paulus

Now that you've written the list, review it carefully to see what you need (MUST) eliminate from your life THIS year in order not to repeat last year (even if it was a good/great year...we're looking to eliminate the areas that don't serve you THIS year). So many people enter the new year, with exactly the same plan as last year, thinking that this year will somehow be different. You don't want to bring ideas/habits/processes into this year just because they are there and that's what you always do. You want to be keenly aware of what MUST be eliminated, so you can follow through and make yourself accountable. (Extraordinary demands accountability!)

CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE:
Now it's time to set INTENTIONS (for growth and success and health and happiness and all the good things that you want for this year...whatever they may be and whatever area of your life they fall into)! Be creative, be generous, and be excited. DON'T let yourself fall into the trap of setting your expectations and intentions TOO LOW.

Note: This is really important - Setting your intentions is all about confidence. If your confidence is low, your intentions will usually reflect that. One of the key areas of my coaching is around the area of CONFIDENCE (that's where the whole The Confidence Revolution thing comes from) and I can tell you that one of the most important things you can do to build confidence is to focus on your WHY. The WHY is the emotional place that drives you - WHY you do what you do and WHY you get up every day. As you set your intentions, focus on your WHY, and all the emotions that it brings, so you can set your highest intentions with a huge amount of passion and desire. Your WHY is what can help silence your fears!

Should intentions be achievable? - absolutely (after all, you might find too many barriers to becoming an astronaut and going into space in 2012, especially if you're a massage therapist right now), but don't forget to dream big, allowing your WHY to fuel your drive and follow your passion. You will find that God/The Universe LOVES to deliver big when we ask and joyfully expect to receive. The timing isn't always what we want it to be, but it works both ways - God/the Universe will act more quickly than we expect on some requests and sometimes less quickly than we hope on others.

Make your intentions list with statements that indicate you already have what you want, as if you are living it currently or looking back in one year at what really happened:
-I am a successful business owner, making a six figure salary (be specific here)
-I am enjoying a flexible and fulfilling work life with a fantastic team (who are they...what roles do they fulfill)
-I take 4 holidays per year with my family, and we have been to exciting places (where...Disney World, Italy?)
-I am in the best fitness and health of my life because of my lifestyle (ability/time to be active, eat well, ?)
-etc...

CLARITY, CONFIDENCE, AND ACTION:
Write as many statements as you can about what you want and desire. Make the list something that you can read every day (or as often as possible). Perhaps put it on a mirror, a cork board by your work space, or create a vision board (utilizing pictures to help create the full vision). Make it part of your daily affirmations/prayers/meditations and be prepared to be amazed at what happens for you.
Now take action. Every day. Get up with a great attitude as your feet touch the floor. Create the habits and processes that will enable you to take action towards your intentions. Find opportunities (LOOK for them everywhere) to take action. Every step, no matter how small, can lead you toward your success. Every time you feel FEAR, silence it with your powerful WHY and the emotions and passion that are driving you. Allow (demand) that your passionate WHY silence the fears that are trying to keep you from being so much less than extraordinary!

CELEBRATE WITH GRATITUDE
When you experience success by moving ahead with your dreams and/or silencing your fears - celebrate and express your gratitude! As a matter of fact, gratitude is one of the most important things you can practice on a daily basis to ensure your success! Find things, every day and all around you, to be grateful for! You will find that your clarity, confidence, happiness, contentment, and energy dramatically change due to this one daily practice of gratitude.

Life is amazing, live it well!
Debra

Finding Your Tribe, Your Followers, Your People

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 14:32:27 +0100

THE CONFIDENCE REVOLUTION
Most people (though not all) have had to take a deep breath before they hit the Send/Submit/OK button to blast their thoughts, ideas, or opinions into cyberspace - whether it's your Blog, your website, Twitter, Facebook, etc. There is an inherent vulnerability about putting this stuff 'out there' for everyone to see (and judge). Obviously, most of us get over it and do it anyway, but there is still a trace amount of vulnerability, even when the work is something we're proud of and want to be seen.

What we hope for, even if un-stated, is that our TRIBE (our followers, our people) will find us and support us! Those people who will relate to us, who will forgive the quality or lack of finesse, who will understand our quirks and sense of humour, who will think us clever and connect with our insights, who will perhaps see our insecurities or lack of confidence and not hold it against us, who WILL LIKE US! ["You like ME, you REALLY like ME!" - Susan Lucci]

Our secret fear is that no one will like us. That we won't have a tribe, a following, or any people. That when we overrule our fear and vulnerability and hit that Send button...no one will answer. That our thoughts, ideas, and opinions will resonate with no one or, perhaps worse, we'll be judged or ridiculed.

When you hear that secret fear, speaking to you quietly where no one else can hear - DO IT ANYWAY! Hit that Send button and do it with passion! Even if you're sweating profusely and feel nauseous (common traits that accompany real fear)! Several things will happen:

- You will not die from it!
- You will feel empowered and confident (that often happens when you stare down FEAR and defeat it!)
- You will gain credibility and clarity! (that happens when we grab hold of life and truly live it!)
- You will be amazed to find that you do have a Tribe!
- You will find that it's gets easier (most of the time), but when it doesn't THAT'S OKAY because it means you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone again and you'll have more opportunities to stare down your FEAR once again!

Caveat: there will be times, when you receive comments or feedback that is negative, nasty, mean-spirited, or just plain ugly. That happens when you put yourself 'out there' in a complicated, diverse, big world! Some people have had lives and experiences that have made them negative, nasty, mean-spirted,or just plain ugly people and that becomes the words they use to communicate out in the world. It's very sad and can really hurt, but you MUST NOT let 'those' people scare you away or hurt you too deeply. There will always be those people in the world. And they will always feel it's their responsibility to inform you of their opinion, but you must let it roll off you. Don't let it into your soul. Even my sweet, teenage daughter has had terrible comments left on her non-profit, eco website. She has had to learn to roll it away, and push off the bad vibes that it tries to leave. Don't let those people win.

So go play BIG in the world - and put your thoughts, ideas, and opinions out there. Even better - go put your action in the world!! It's one thing to write your thoughts, but it's even better to follow through and go do something with them!!

You'll see this quote often, in stuff that I write, because it has meant so much to me:
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined!!" -Henry David Thoreau

Go now!

Life is amazing. Live it well.
Debra